I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
