Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Sorry about my life...
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
