Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
operation have a gay friend backfired
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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