Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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