you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
