took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
