Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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