but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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