I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize