I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
