we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
This is the high leading the old right now
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
