I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
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Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
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All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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