Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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