Grow some girl-balls and come out already
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
either way he was missing a nipple.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
