his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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