when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
