the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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