just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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