I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
