Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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