I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Less talking, more tequila
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
