I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
