fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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