Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
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