I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
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I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
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Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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