Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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