why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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