So drunk, too bad you don't want this
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
