how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
