he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
