There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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