I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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