like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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