the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Houston, we have a squirter
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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