I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
