Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
