At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
there was a trapeze. enough said
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
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