he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
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