Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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