So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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