maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
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