I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
