I want to stick my p in your. b.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
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