Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
