..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
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she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
My vagina is officially offended.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
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