hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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