some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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