he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
so much tequila, so little girl.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
