At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
