I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
wakey wakey hands off snakey
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
