Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Randomize
