is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
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I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
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I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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