butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I think I died a long time ago.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
