You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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