Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
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