hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
