just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
