I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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