Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
