its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
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So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
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I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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