I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
