I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
