everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
