One girl and one boy is just not enough.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
