Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
