My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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