Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
