i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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