I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
