There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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